Dear Diary Reunited With The Rock God (mxm)
Cast:
Lewis Booth aka Lark portrayed by Adam Lambert.
Karl Raymuse portrayed by Matt Bomer. Both 38.
Dear Diary,
I know I'm probably way too old and the wrong gender to be keeping a diary like this. But I can't speak to anyone else about this. My heart is hollow and I am loner than ever. For years I was able to deal with the pain because I had my beautiful daughters kept my mind busy. But now they have basically moved out and all but adults, doing their own thing. I have nothing but time to think of him. Of the one that I let get away. My one true love.
It's been twenty years since we last seen one another, let alone speak. Yet I can't forget him.
Twenty years since I let my family's prejudices rule my life and choose their reputation over my best friend, my soul mate.
Twenty years since I made the biggest mistake of a life time and lost Lewis Booth. The only thing I don't regret about the last twenty years is having my twin daughters. My perfect girls.
Let me give you a quick history.
My name is Karl Raymuse.
Lewis and I met in nursery school when we were still babies. We were instant best friends and inseparable.
I came from a upper class family or at least that's what my parents like to tell me.
My mother was a house wife / mother or a hostess - as she liked to say. And my father - like his father, grandfather and so on - was a Judge.
Lewis's father was a Baker, but his mother wasn't involved, she left when he was still a baby.
Years went by and in our teens our relationship deepened and become sexual. By eighteen we were ready to come out and move in together.
That was until my parents declared I was to marry Roberta Ashley, who was a couple of years older than me, an heiress and friend of my parents. I, myself never got on with her or her family, they - like my family - were always very self-righteous, racist and homophobic. I hated them but at the same time loved my parents because they were family.
I told them no, that I was planning on moving out with Lewis. My parents laughed about two men living together and how would we manage. Me, at college then university studying to be a lawyer and Lewis, in a band which was going nowhere - my father's words not mine.
But I thought they was amazing and him, a great singer. I had been in the band on the drums for a short time but it was never my passion. I always wanted to be a lawyer - defend rather than judge, much to the displeasure of my father who wanted me to be a judge too. But I think he was just happy I wasn't in the band anymore.
He never was very keen on the pair of us being friends, saying we were too close and people would think we were pansies since we never played the field.
I was too much of a wimp to tell him we were pansies as he put it.
The truth is my inability, unwillingness, cowardliness cost me Lewis. I should have told my parents then I was gay, I wanted to be with Lewis, that I loved him and would marry him if it was legal at the time.
But instead I made a half baked argument about not loving her, needing time and space to study and a lot of bull like that.
By nineteen Lewis had left, I was married and by twenty I had my twin daughters - my pride and joy and only reason left for living. Me and Lewis always wanted children and spoke about a surrogate. I only had sex with Roberta a handful of times over the years and that was purely because I was duty-bound to. Thankfully, my wife was a frigid bitch and only cared for money, shopping and how she looked to others.
After the twins were born we never had sex again. She never really cared for me, it was purely a marriage of convenience. I never heard anything from him over the years but I did watch him on the television, heard him on the radio as his band succeeded and made it big.
He was out and I couldn't help but be jealous and let my heart break a little more every time I saw him in a magazine kissing another guy.
It was supposed to be me and him and the twins, our family. Not that witch and us.
Years passed and one day my wife didn't come home. I reported her missing. After all, she was my wife and mother of my children, I didn't want her hurt or worse.
Coincidentally, hundreds of thousands of pounds were discovered missing from a charity she had been volunteering for in her free time. Because doing something for those less fortunate is always good for the image.
Long story short, she was found aboard, deported and charged with stealing the money.
Everyone was shocked, even I was.
My parents pushed me to divorce her, like I wouldn't want to.
By the time the girls were ten I was happily divorced, had sole custody of my daughters and their mother was serving a long prison sentence. Even her parents disowned her.
Over the years my parents tried to set me up with eligible bachelorettes, but none of them lasted past the first date for obvious reasons.
At the age of seventeen, last year, my girls came out to me. They had known they were gay for years but were scared I would reject them. That is when I realised what a mess I had made, not only in my personal life but also my daughters. I made them think I was like my grandparents and would reject them.
I told them I loved them no matter what and would anyone they wanted to be with.
The next year went fast and now they are up coming singers on tour and opening for none other than, you guessed it, Lewis's band.
I am so proud of them, but having him so close, yet so far had brought up feelings I thought I was slowly getting over. But now they are back tenfold.
Worse of all, when my girls asked me to come to their local venue on the tour, I made up an excuse why I couldn't come.
I am a partner in a prestigious law firm, so they easily believed me. I felt awful lying, but I can't risk seeing him, especially with his new partner.
I haven't told the girls about us or my sexuality because I'm too ashamed. Not that I'm gay, but what I did to him.
I've started working all hours just to stop myself thinking him but it isn't working.
Speaking of work. I'm due in court.
The one last thing I want to say is I hope not only my daughters but Lewis know how much I love them, even if I'm no longer in his life.
In my dreams he is my husband and the girls - our children.
My heart hurts. I miss him so much.
Sometimes I wish I was dead. Maybe then the pain would stop.With that he closed his laptop and rushed out the house.
**
Later that same day…
Hazel and Holly pull open the front door of their father’s house.
“This is a gorgeous house,” Lark stepped through the door behind them.
“Are you sure your father will be alright with me staying here?”
“You joking? He’ll love you too.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is he hot?”
The twins crinkle up their nose.
He chuckled and dropped his bags in the floor in the hall.
“Have you a computer or something I can use?”
“Sure thing.”
He was shown to a room which looked like a home office. On the wall at least a dozen pictures. All of the twins at various ages. Their Dad obviously adored his daughters.
“This is Dad’s home laptop, no work stuff. So you’ll be find to use it,” Hazel pointed to the desk.
“We’ll put your bags in the spare room. Join use in the kitchen when your done.”
“At the end of the hall.”
“Don’t I need a password?”
“Nah, Dad always leaves it on. No password needed.”
With that they left the room.
Moving into the large chair behind the desk. He was enveloped in a masculine scent which had his cock instantly standing to attention.
He sat back and adjusted himself before running a hand through his hair. “I need to get laid,” He mumbled to himself.
Opening the laptop, he was greeted by a page of text.
He moved the cursor to minimize the window but froze when a name caught his eye.
Karl Raymuse.
The man he had spend the first years of his fame fucking out of his system.
After ten years he gave up moving on and ever finding someone to take his heart, that permanently belonged to Karl.
Most men were fine with no strings hook ups. But a few said they were but then became clingy.
His last partner – Clark – he made the mistake of sleeping with a handful of times, not seeing the signs until it was too late. It took him weeks to break up with him. Hence why he had been single for several weeks now and hadn’t had sex for at least twice that.
After finding out Clark – a PC tech – had hacked not only is computer but also phone, he was forced to bring his manger in and get a restraining order against him.
But it hadn’t stopped him. Which is why he was forced into his current situation, staying with the twins because the hotels system was breached – cameras included – and now was using this laptop.
But now he was actually happy the way thing worked out.
Maybe I could meet up with him. Maybe…
He couldn’t stop himself from reading and by the end he had tears in his eyes.
**
The case was finished and Karl was free to return home.
He sighed closing his front door and placed his keys on the hall table. If the twins didn’t love the house so much he would move to a smaller property, a flat maybe.
No, his girls would be so upset if he did that. Not to mention all the good memories he had there.
Kicking off his shoes he made a move to go upstairs to the bathroom, but stopped and walked in the opposite direction when he noticed his office door open.
He almost obsessively closed everyday when he left the house, so he knew it wasn’t him.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, maybe an intruder or something. But nothing prepared him for what actually was waiting for him.
**
“Am I dreaming again?”
Lark looked up from the laptop top to see a familiar yet unfamiliar man stood in the doorway.
Dark hair slicked back, his eyes a mixed of grey and blue staring at Lark with a mixture of hope, love and pain. His well toned body packed into a smart suit.
“Lewis?” He asked again with pain in his voice.
“No one’s called me that in years,” He said raising from the chair. The moment he said the words though, Karl rush follows several steps before falling to his knees.
“I’m sorry, Lewis. I should have hesitated. I should have told my parents outright. I love you, Lewis. I’ve never stopped. I understand that what I did to you was unforgiveable and you probably won’t-“
Lark rushed over and slammed his lips against Karl’s. This was like no kiss before, yet so familiar, like being home. His heart felt giddy and whole for the first time in forever.
Whereas he had not straightout suffered depression like Karl, that was only because he used fame, alcohol, sex and on a few occasions drugs to mask his pain.
He pulled back breathless minutes later. Karl clung to him and look at him with such hope.
“You are really here?” He sounded in shock. How did this beautiful man become so broken?
Lark knew the answer.
“I’m sorry, Lewis, please-“
“No, Karl,” He cut him off, hugging him to his chest. The big man seemed so small at this moment.
“It’s my fault,” He confessed what he never wanted Karl to find out. The thing that kept him away so many years.
“Your mother gave me money to leave,” He was ashamed to admit it.
Dozens of emotions flickered across Karl’s face. Anger, hurt, hopelessness to name a few.
“I see,” Karl said sadly and took a step away.
“No, please stop, Karl,” He grabbed the suited man’s arm. “I thought I was doing what was right. You were so torn. I left thinking it was best for you,” He explained stepping forwards and cupping Karl’s cheek. “But then I realised it was because I was afraid you would reject me. Choose your parents over me. They are your family after all.”
Karl furrowed his brows. “You were my family more than them!” He exclaimed neither noticing the stunned twins come and go.
“I would have done anything for you.”
“I wanted to come back-“
“Then why didn’t you?!”
“I… I…”
“You tell me the truth. You tasted fame and the perks that come with it!”
“No!” He pulled Karl, trapping him in his strong tattooed arms.
“Dad told me you had children…” Tears filled Lark’s eyes. “He said you were happy. I thought… I thought I was doing what was best for you.”
All the emotions he had been denying flooded back and he broke down.
“I tried so hard to move on. But it’s only you. It’s always been you. If I could go back and do it again I would return and take you and the girls with me.” Their mouths were a breath apart.
“I love you, Karl. Only you.”
One moment they were kissing, the next they were pulling at each others clothes.
With Karl bent over his desk, Lark entered him.
Both moaned. It was like returning home.
“I love you so much, baby.” Karl couldn’t help but smile at the old nickname.
He was the shorter of the two and Karl was always the bottom as a teen, not the he minded. He loved Lewis’s touch.
“Come on tour with me, baby? I’m not loosing you again.” There was no point in fighting, Lark’s tone alone told him it was a done deal.
He moved deep and hard, kissing the back of Karl’s neck and sucking it, marking him as his.
“Yes, yes, yes. I love you. Anything.”
Lark pushed faster. He hadn’t gone bareback since the last time they were together.
“I can’t… I’m going to… Fuck!” Karl groaned and swore when Lark took hold of his cock.
“Cum with me, baby.”
He came hard, harder than he had ever before. Lark came deep inside his partner and Karl in Lark’s open hand.
Lark brought his hand up to his mouth and licked it clean.
“So good…” He hummed. “You still taste like sunshine, baby.”
**
His daughters were shocked to learn the truth.
“I can’t believe that,” Hazel said in tears after the story. If anything, it just made the twins dislike their grandparents more than they already did.
“And your dad is coming on tour with us,” Lark held Karl to his side.
“Dad, that is awesome!” Holly exclaimed hugging the pair.
The twins had always suspected their father was hiding something, but they could never imagine what it was.
Fixing things at the office was easy, especially after learning the big new clients he was bringing in.
It was Lark’s idea. Karl would become his personal lawyer and recommend the firm to all his friend.
The news of Lark Olive aka Lewis Booth’s new romance spread quickly.
His agent was happy to see him settle down. They had been friends for years and knew how much he cared for Karl.
Then the call came from his parents.
“How dare you embarrass us like that?” Karl’s father, Perry exclaimed over the phone.
“No wonder your daughters are-“
“You can say what you want about me. But you dare say a word about my daughter..!” Karl was beyond angry. “Don’t contact me and my daughters again. If you can’t accept them or Lewis then we are no longer family.”
He hung up without a single regret. In fact, he actually felt freed.
“I’m so proud of you, baby.” Lark kissed him. It was only minutes and he was due on stage.
“They have made me life a misery, not anymore.”
“Lark, stage,” A stage hand called.
With a kiss and a wink, Lewis walked to the platform which would take him to the stage.
From the side lines Karl watched with his daughters. He had fallen. In love all over again.
Happier than he had ever been.
He loved his parents but hated them too. He could live without them. But not without his girls, not without Lewis.
As for Clark, Lewis’s ex, he was arrested after hacking in numerous companies. Then to top it off he tried to break into Lewis’s hotel room.
Long story short, he is facing many years in prison.
“This next song is dedicated to my best friend and lover, Karl Raymuse.”
Karl listened in surprise.
He hadn’t been expecting this.
A much mellower tune that the rock singer’s normal choice started.
Still rock but more of a soft rock.
“It started off great,
You and I were inseparable,
Best friends turned lovers,
“Your parents hated us together but we thought we were indestructible,
But then I messed it up,
Made the biggest mistake of my life…”
The couples eyes connected.
“I’m sorry, so sorry,
I hurt you,
I hurt me,” He continued to pour out his feelings in song form.
Versus after versus until slowly coming to the end.
“I made the mistake of losing you once,” He was speaking now and looking directly to the side of the stage where Karl spoke.
“Come out here, baby,” Lewis indicated for Karl to join him.
He was reluctant. He wasn’t shy, far from it. But that didn’t mean he wanted to go on stage in front of a crowd of thousands.
“Go on, dad.” The twins pushed him on to the stage.
Composing himself he walked over to his lover.
Hoots and whistles came from the crowd of fans. Karl had gain quite the few fans thanks to all the publicity.
“Karl,” Lewis took his lover’s hands in his. The whole statium fell eerily quiet.
“I have wasted so many years trying to forget you. But you are unforgettable, baby. I love you more than anything in the world. I dont want us even to be apart again.”
Karl watched in shock as Lewis fell down on one knee.
“I love you, baby,” He repeated. “Karl, will you marry me?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes! Yes!”
Cheers, screams and Lewis stood up, throwing his arms around Karl.
Karl couldn’t believe it. Only a week ago he was stuck in a deep hole of despair he never thought he’d escape.
Now he is engaged to be married to his soul mate.
“I love you, Lewis. Thank you for saving me.”
“No, we saved each other.”
Lewis turned to the crowd.
“Let the world know this man is mine and I am his. Forever and a day.”
Without another word Lewis pressed his lips to Karl’s sealing their fates.
A/N
Short but sweet.
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