Chapter 9
I spent the morning packing my things.
“Who owns the cabin?” I asked him as I place the last of my clothes in a case.
“Me. My parents bought it as a college present for me,” Dexter told me as he sat watching me from the bed. He offered to help me pack, but I wasn’t comfortable enough with him going through my personal stuff yet.
He helped me take everything to the cars. His and mine. We picked mine up from the college parking lot after packing but before loading up and when we were done I went to my landlord and told him I was moving out effective immediately. He was sad to see me go. But I had already payed the next two weeks rent, which he offered me back but I told him to keep because I was inconveniencing him.
After that me and Dexter both drove back to the cabin in our own cars. He even gave me a key to the cabin to prove I wasn’t being held by force… Anymore.
When there he helped me bring almost all of my things in for me and placing them in the room I would call my own.
He sat on my bed again watching me as I unpacked my stuff. I didn’t mind as long as he only watched.
“I am glad I have my best friend back,” I turned to see him looking at me with love it made my heart hurt.
“Why do you have to be so nice?” I exclaimed. He looked at me confused.
“Why couldn’t you just rape me and act like you are meant to. That why I could hate you.”
“You don’t hate me?” he asked with hope in his voice.
“I should but I don’t. I care for you. You have been nicer to me this last day than Nate was in our entire relationship. Why did you have to move you idiot? Why couldn’t you have stayed with me? Why couldn’t you just confess when you got back. F*ck the fact that I was with Nate, it didn’t matter. I still might have accepted you.
But no. You had to treat me like I had the plague and ignore me for years before getting drunk and raping me,” I was now sobbing.
His face broke “I know it’s no excuse not I barely remember what happened. It was like I wasn’t in control of myself. You know I wouldn’t ever normally do that… The only thing I can think of is maybe the alcohol. But I don’t want to make excuses for my acts. At the end of the day, I did it and I regret forcing you whole heartily,” he stopped in front of me. His hand moved like he wanted to turn me, but he stopped himself.
“I love you Hale. I always have and always will. You are my princess bride” I smile at the old nickname.
“I know I have ruined any chances of us being a couple. But nothing will change my feelings” my chuckled to himself “Believe me I tried to for the last six years, but nothing worked. I love you just as much now as I did when I was younger. You are… You are my soul mate…” I noticed tears brimming his eyes “I will forever be by your side if only as your loyal friend.”
I couldn’t help it. It was like my mouth had a mind of its own words just started to spill out “I know how you feel…” that’s why deep down I just commit myself now “… I love you too. I always have, even when I was with Nate. I just got good at hiding it. You have always been my first love,” his eyes widen at my confession “I may have cared for him, but I don’t think I ever really loved him, at least not more than I would any close friend. I just tricked myself into believing it. I wanted too. I wanted to be free of the pain of loving you and you ignoring me. But like you said nothing worked. I love you more than a friend loves a friend. I love you as my best friend, my lover, my soul… But since that night I am scared of you. You threaten to ‘slit me.’ How do I know you won’t do that again?” I looked at him again to see him with the same tear soaked face as me.
I flinched when he brought up his hand to my face and tried to brush away my falling tears.
“I love you so much princess. I really would never do that. I didn’t mean it, I really don’t understand why I did any of it… I should never have drunk so much. I would never have forced you otherwise…. I just don’t know,” he seemed as confused and frustrated by why he would do it himself.
Neither of us noticed a familiar man stood in the doorway to my new room until we heard him clear his throat.
We both turned to see a man a few years older than us. Who looked very similar to Dexter but instead of blond hair he had slightly shorter jet black hair, which made his blue eyes pop.
“Hiya bunny,” I realized who it was. Only one person called me that.
“Kaden,” a smile took over my face. I walked over and hugged the man who had been like my big brother growing up.
Strangely I was afraid of him. I knew he didn’t think of me that way. Or at least didn’t use too and even if he did, he would do anything because he knew his cousin like me.
Kaden chuckled “I missed you too bunny,” he said returning my hug before I pulled away sheepishly. I didn’t miss the sad but jealous look Dexter was wearing. He looked almost defeated.
“I just need to have a word in private with Dex and then maybe we can catch up?” he said smiling but he had a strange look in his eye looking at me. A little like sympathy…
I nodded and silently went back to unpacking.
Dexter didn’t even bother drying his tear stained cheeks. He just follow his cousin out.
Dexter’s pov
I didn’t ask myself why Kaden was here. I feel too depressed. I should never have done it. But I still don’t know why I did.
My cousin led me into the back bedroom which he often used if he stayed over.
I walked in and he closed the door behind us.
“Please tell me I misunderstood what I just overheard…” I looked up to see him looking at me with worry.
“No. It’s true. I handcuffed and gagged her so she couldn’t scream and then I repeatedly raped her…” if look could kill then I would be dead. “The worst part is I told Nate no” his eyes widened, then narrowed when I mentioned Nate. “But then he fed me a ton of some weird beer he bought and then I agreed. But I don’t know why. I didn’t want to do that to her. I love her for f*cks sake. I always have. I would rather kill myself than willingly hurt her. But that night it was like I wasn’t in control. I held a knife to her neck and told her I was going to slit her if she bit my c0ck,” I was crying again but I didn’t care how I looked or if it was unmanly. I was beyond caring.
“It was that b*stard Nate’s?” he spat.
I nodded and recounted the story again of what happened, including today’s accident.
When I had finished, he reacted how I expected he would. He punched me in the guts. I immediately fell. I hurt like hell, but I didn’t retaliate, I deserve worse. She was like a sister to him. Growing up he was often around my house, as was Hale. Meaning the three of us spent a lot of time together.
She was always full of energy and bouncing around. That is why he calls her bunny. He would even be a priest at our weddings.
“You are meant to love her you b*stard. What have I told you? Rule one of BDSM: no means no. We do not take it force a person to do anything they do not want to do,” he growled. I stand on the floor feeling more depressed than when I found out she was dating Nate.
“I didn’t mean too. God…” I pull my hair “I feel like I am going insane. I don’t know why I did it.”
Kaden sighed and sat down beside me.
He put his arm around my shoulder and patted my back.
“I know you didn’t mean. That is partly why I am so mad. You let Nate use you. He knew you loved her and wanted her and he used you to get his own way. The fcking bstard couldn’t just dump her no, he had to try and break her,” he said angrily.
“I need to know, when was this? And what did you drink and how much?” he asked firmly.
“Five weeks ago. It was a Saturday night. I don’t know what I drank. Nate poured me the drinks. It was beer, but it tasted weird a little like roast nuts and left my spit pink for days afterwards. When I asked him, he said it was some cheap foreign beer. I drunk maybe six… Not that many really that’s why I’m so confused…” I trailed off not looking at Kaden. I was too ashamed of myself.
“I don’t think it was the beer that did that,” he said confidently.
I looked at him confused “You don’t?”
“I know it didn’t. We just have to get Nate to confess…”
“Confess what?” I was only getting more confused.
“The reason I am here is partly because I need a place to stay a few nights while I have my place decorated. But the other reason was… Is to show and ask you about this…” he pulled out his phone and played a video. “This is footage from a security camera in a club nearby. It is several weeks ago,” on the screen was a guy I didn’t know. He looked really shady. “I stumbled across this yesterday after I received information that a man was selling a new dangerous drug in the club. I was reviewing old footage from the last couple of months to try and find him. I did but I also from this…” another figure entered the frame. I knew the person straight away.
“Nate… What the hell?” I furrowed my eyebrows. The cameras didn’t have sound. It was pointless, you wouldn’t be able to hear anything because of the club. Nate and the man exchanged some words. Then Nate handed him a wad of cash. The dealer took it and handed back a small clear bag (the kind drugs come in) containing what looked like… “Sand?” I say outlook. Nate smirks and walks off with the ‘sand,’ in his pocket.
“No. That is the new drug I told you I was worried about. It is called ‘The Sandman’ for obvious reasons.”
“Hang on I heard of that. It’s been all over the news recently because of it’s side effects,” I noticed Kaden typing and opening something else on his phone. I saw a glimpse of writing.
“Hasn’t it been linked to some crimes or something? It affects a person mentally so they are almost unable to control themselves,” he nods in reply.
I thought I was confused before.
“But why would Nate want something like that?”
He looked at the screen and started to read stuff off of it “The Sandman. A new party drug named because it’s sand like appearance and the affect it has. The powdered drug is known to induce a dream-like state. Most people who have taken the drug said it was as if they were not in control of their body. Another name given in recent weeks is ‘The defiler.’ This is because the fact that most men that use it find themselves unable a control their sexual appetite, resulting in an increase in rapes.
The drug is sand coloured, but finer. It is said to taste like roast hazelnuts and the drug reacts with the body making the person saliva pink or red for up to a week afterwards,” he stops and looks at me. Realization hit me. “That b*stard spiked my drink,” my depression now replaced with fuming anger towards my ex-friend.
“I am going to kill him.”
Hale’s pov
The boys had been talking for a while, leaving me on my own. But I didn’t mind so much. It meant I had been able to put my stuff away a lot faster.
I picked up another bag. I walked into the en-suite bathroom I had. Emptying out the soaps and another stuff from the bag I put them away.
But froze when I spotted them.
“No, no, no no,” I ran into my room and grabbed my phone and opened my calendar. I was three weeks later for my period. I hadn’t even noticed. I had been too distracted after everything.
‘No. I can’t be,’ I told myself ‘It’s just because of the stress.’
I hoped. But I had been feeling different. Bloated, sick, my boobs hurt all the time but that didn’t happen until later in the pregnancy, didn’t it?
I calmed myself down, telling myself I couldn’t be but knew I had to test myself anyway. Just to be sure. I was lucky enough to have a couple of pregnancy tests left from a scare I had several months before. It turned out I was on time I just got the dates mixed up. I was thankful for that. I always knew despite everything Nate would not be a good father. He was too self-obsessed and selfish. Why did I go out with him for so long? I have no idea. I think it was because he could also be really kind and thoughtful, but I think now that that was an act.
Ten minutes later and I had found the two tests and was sat with my phone waiting for the time to be up so I could see the results. These were the top end tests with a 99.9% correct rate.
“Bunny you in there?” Kaden’s voice called from the other side, I knew Dexter was with him. “Yes. Just give me a minute,” I called back.
“OK. We will wait in here if that is OK? We need to tell you something,” he replied.
“Sure thing,” I said wondering what was important, but too preoccupied with the test to think too much.
‘Ten seconds,’ I counted in my head.
The time was up, but I was too scared to look. Did I even want babies? Yes. But not now, not after…
I took a deep breath. ‘Just do it,’ I ordered myself. I picked up both sticks and looked at them.
Both read the same. Positive. I was pregnant. I dropped to my knees and broke down crying on the floor.
I heard some voices. But I didn’t listen. Then the door opened. Both Kaden and Dexter spotted me on the floor crying and ran over. They crouched down beside me and Dexter hugged me. Kaden rubbed my back. I didn’t mind Dexter hugging me, in fact I actually found it comforting.
“What’s wrong Hales? Did you hurt yourself?” Dexter’s worried voice asked me.
I was still holding the tests, so, they couldn’t see them. Without looking up I held out the tests.
Dexter’s pov (again)
She held out two white sticks. I looked at Kaden, who took them from her. He looked at them and his eyes widen.
He cups her face to look at him. I couldn’t help but be jealous. “You’re pregnant?”
My eyes widen this time. She nodded, still in tears. She is pregnant. My only thought “Is it Nate’s?” I ask her without thinking.
She looks at me and sucks her bottom lip. I knew she only did that when she was scared. Was she scared of me? My heart hurt at the thought.
She shook her head “We haven’t had sex in months and when we did I wore a femidom because I can’t use the pill,” her voice broken.
“Months?” Kaden asked surprised as me.
She nodded “He said he didn’t like sex… But I guess that was just with me,” she looked at me, Kaden was no longer holding her face. “It’s your baby.”
A/N
The Sandman is a made up drug.
A femidom is a female condom.
Kaden is 25
Beth, Nate, Dexter and Hale are 22.
